The Difference Between Divorced and Happily Married Ever After

The Difference Between Divorced and Happily Married Ever After
by Y. M. S.

Someone sent me the article “10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Remarry With Under Aged Children” by Christine Nanfra.

He then asked: “Do you put your life on hold because of the children?”

I replied:
You know the expression “Happy wife, happy life.” I am pretty sure a woman wrote that! Also, nothing rhymes with happy husband :)
However, happy children, happy life, is certainly true, especially when you get a little older. (Even though, the children also need to see a happy father...)

I also messaged him regarding that article:

Many valid points in the article. However, there are people who will value, appreciate and respect their husband being a good caring father.
There are also women who are past the age of child bearing, or an alienated mother, who would love to be a real 2nd mother to her new husband’s kids.
If both have kids, it would also be reciprocal treating each other’s kids like their own.
The child will look at the father’s home like more of a real home with a husband wife dynamic there.

*

The article says 66% of those marriages fail. That is probably not much more than the regular first-marriage divoce rate (50%?)

Regarding ultra-religious groups, their regular first marriage rate is so much better, (albeit also too high.) However, their 2nd marriage divorce rate is actually higher - 3 out of 4 (75%) fail. Sobbering.

There are reasons I can think of. First marriages are generally younger - kids who grow into a style and type together (when compatible.) Whereas when you are older, you are more set in your ways, and hard to become on the same page. Ultra-Religious have the added “being set in their ways” in traditions and religion. For example if the guy sleeps late, and the woman can’t take that, even if she knows beforehand and “accepted” it - forget about it. She will never be able to take it.

Someone once told me at a late morning prayer service, that a woman cannot take seeing a husband in bed after she gets up. I asked him what if she has a “nutty habit” of getting up at 7:00am and you are good with 7:45am. He said it doesn’t make a difference. I said to him, look around, there are 700 guys every day here at these late prayer services! He answered me to look around, half of them are divorced and the other half are getting divorced (on track.) He was right.
Point to learn from this: Next time, never let her see you in bed after she is up. Get up and find another bed to go to (there should be a business for this,) or go sleep in your car. Crack a window.
There is a story of an elderly man who was seen in his old age wandering the streets crying “I need a bed.”